Sean Spicer has been explaining how badly he has been treated by Donald Trump. Speaking to an assembled press corps Mr Spicer said, “Even Hitler didn’t treat his press secretary this badly.” 

Several reporters looked bemused at this. When asked to clarify who he was referring to Mr Spicer said Josef Goebbells.

He went on to say, “Hitler would yell and rant and rave at people. I’ve seen Downfall and know what it was like. At least Hitler yelled coherently. Trump yells and it’s just a word salad. Nobody understands any of it. Then he just keeps getting angrier.

Hitler used to have people strung up with piano wire. Believe me, that would be q relief after a 4 hour meeting with Trump or 30 minutes reading his tweets.”

Spicer was asked about his plans for the future. He told the reporter’s that he intends to spend more time with his family. His first duty will be helping his daughter out with her lemonade stand. Apparently she was recently fined for not having a licence that allows her to operate as a lemonade seller.

Mr Spicer said he intends go full Melissa McCarthy on the councils ass with a massive stick of chewing gum, mobile rostrum and water pistol.

Mr Spicer had a message for Donald Trump Jr. He said that at the end of Downfall Josef Goebbells and hus wife kill their children. Mr Spicer said that Trump had recently installed Laurel bushes on the White House lawn. An idea he allegedly got from talking to Mr Putin.

Spicer had this warning for Trump Jr. “If you smell almonds Donald it’s time to get out.” 

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.