Authorities in Yemen have welcomed the arrival of western homeopaths in its battle against a recent Cholera outbreak.

Larisa Ahmad told us, “We welcome the arrival of western homeopaths to Yemen. They will be useful if we have a sudden outbreak of perfectly healthy people needing some attention.
Obviously they’ll be absolutely useless as far as Cholera goes. It’s a waterborne disease for a start so a treatment that involves such things as water memory and large scale dilution is clearly going to exacerbate the situation. We’ll need proper medicine for that.”

Anti vaccine campaigners have also got in on the act. Hermione Upjohn said, “I saw the news that there was a Cholera outbreak. I knew immediately that this was an opportunity to build mine and my families natural immunity that I couldn’t miss. I’ve brought my children and we’re going to lodge with a local family and have a Cholera party. Then, once the children are infected we’ll go home and have Cholera parties with all our friends.
I know there’s a vaccine but we’re not having that. You’ve no idea what’s in them and it would give the kids autism anyway. There’s no proof the vaccine would work. The aid workers are obviously still alive because they eat loads of coconut and have built up their immunity. As a parent it’s my duty to ensure my children build up immunity naturally. Like the Victorians did.”

Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told us, “The woman is obviously deluded. One of the reasons there’s a vaccine is that Cholera kills you long before you build up any immunity. Why do you think there’s so many dead Yemenis?

She could save herself a lot of time and money by cutting her kids and exposing them to Tetanus, or just shooting them.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.