Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was today in a position where he wasn’t just on the right, but in the right. That’s about as galling as actually trying to pass a gallstone.

The cause?

As the utter Hunt tweeted: “Love the Canary. Blamed for attack on NHS staff by private parking contractor. It’s in Wales – where Lab runs NHS”

The Herald prides itself on slapdash, shoddy, funny journalism, but even we would baulk at running a piece that makes Jeremy Hunt look good.

But then, why would anyone believe the Canary about anything. That’s like believing us. On which note, we are delighted to be able to share with you this entirely true story about Jeremy Hunt’s childhood.

When he was thirteen, Jeremy Hunt was in the changing rooms after a game of rugby. One of his teammates had brought in a porn mag. This was in the pre-internet days and was very exciting indeed.

The entire rugby team crowded round to look at said jazz mag. Much phwoaring and coring went on as lads in an all boys school really didn’t get a lot of exposure to the opposite sex.

As they turned the pages and admired the centrefold, the young Hunt said:

“Ah, I hate those pics of their bum all spread open like that!”

There was a brief pause. And then, with exquisite timing, his classmate Richard Sykes said:

“That’s a c*nt, H*nt.”

The centrefold was partially dressed as a nurse and it thought that this severe childhood trauma lies at the root of his subsequent desire to f*ck the NHS.

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?