General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget.

General de Villiers said that if the budget cuts went through it would leave him in charge of an army “no longer able to guarantee the robust surrender and capitulation that I believe is necessary to guarantee the protection of French Architecture and Coffee Shops, today and tomorrow.”

He continued “France has long been able to avoid the kind of destruction and modernisation that has blighted Western Europe by swiftly surrendering and doing a deal over access to Parisien Brothels – without an ongoing supply of crisp, white flags this will all be, well, non possible!”

His comments were echoed by Sheldon Cooper of Fun With Flags who said “The Czech Republic and Slovakia, and Romania and Moldova would all be much different if they had the wherewithal to surrender so spectacularly as the French. I’m just saying. Don’t shoot the messenger, which of course the French never would, because they would have surrendered as soon as they saw him”.

Just for once, Donald Trump seems to be correct about European Nations commitment to NATO.