As science fiction fans eagerly await the announcement from the BBC about the identity of the umpteenth actor to play the timelord, The Rochdale Herald has uncovered evidence of austerity in the licence fee funded corporations plans for the long running action packed drama.

Following the departure of The Thick Of It star, Peter Capaldi, who it’s thought has quit acting to track down some guy pupporting to be one of his characters, the gossip about potential replacements has been relentless.

Talk of the role finally being played by someone else other than a white middle class man has been rife and this has overshadowed the more sinister plans of the program makers.
A source close to the Dr Who writers has leaked details to the Rochdale Herald to warn viewers of the changes.

Lex Terminate told us: “These geeks that love this shit aren’t going to be happy, to reflect the austerity measures implemented by the current government, the new series will see the Doctor asking for payment before whipping his sonic screwdriver out or mending some time anamoly created by some mentalist. Further measures include placing cheap but attractive cladding in the TARDIS and a story about some people not wanting to be governed by time anymore but they haven’t got a clue what they are going to do once they leave the system.”

He added “I know who the new Doctor is but I have run out of time.”