Categories: Trump

President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit

21 February 2016: Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks to several thousand supporters at a rally in Atlanta, Georgia.

Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he gets excited and then what he is expecting next does not happen.

The problem appears to stem from confusion between the well known French habit of saying yes twice and how it sounds exactly like the way a child says they are micturating, or would like to, in english.

An aide travelling with POTUS sent a series of alarming text messages to the Rochdale Herald. Most of them were calls for help by way of a job offer? But when these were ignored they put something of substance on the table.

“Trump is waiting for the moment when he is shown into a palatial room with a big bed. He expects to find a couple of hot blonde women waiting inside just canning bottles of water in preparation for the presidential experience. He also expects to eat some gold.”

It’s not happened yet.

He keeps hearing ‘oui oui’, which apparently he thinks is a code word for a private audience, but nothing but more boring diplomatic nonsense follows.

It’s rumoured that wee wee was what some Russians said to Mr Trump just before something that never happened never happened.

Even being the guest of honour during France’s Bastille Day celebrations today is unlikely to appease Trump. To make matters worse the event will probably be overflowing with French women saying ‘Oui oui Potus’.

“He will only go home impressed by French hospitality if there’s a genuine shower of golden praise involved.”

It’s rumoured that the sleeping quarters in Airforce One have been fitted out with spray washable plastic sheeting in case emergency measures are needed to restore balance on the flight home. Like, if someone spills a drink, or something similar.

“The french should just learn to say yes yes like normal people do.”

Oui oui.

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