Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia Veselnitskaya at Trump Tower and they had discussed incriminating information regarding the Clinton campaign. An allegation he denied a few days ago.

The President told reporters, “I’ve never actually met Donald Trump Jr. It’s fake news put about by the main stream media to incriminate me.

Fake news organisations want you to believe facts about me being his father. But if you look at the alternative facts you realise I’m not his father and I’ve never met him.

A few years ago this lady came to see me. She said she was from an impoverished country but had a bright son. She asked if I could help him. This boy was a beautiful boy.

She showed me a picture and the things she said. He was a really great kid and something about him reminded me of me at the same age. I don’t know. Maybe it was the hair or his inability to grasp a tennis racket.

So I paid for his education. He’s a great kid. He graduated college and I asked my staff to find him a job in my organisation. This beautiful great kid did good. In gratitude he changed his name to Donald Trump Jr because it was the only way to thank me.”
President Trump was asked about all the photos of him and Trump Jr and responded, “It’s fake news.

All those pictures are created by CNN to discredit my Presidency. CNN hired the guy from Forest Gump and got him to put me in those photos. I’ve never actually met Donald Trump Jr. The main stream media just want you to believe that.”

When asked about the clear family resemblance the President said, “I admit he looks a bit like me. I used to joke with his mother that we could be related. In fact we once did a DNA test together. You know what it said? There’s a 1 in a billion chance that I’m not his father.

There’s 7 billion people on Earth so that means there’s 7 other people out there who could be his dad.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.