President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than Donald Trump’s riots in Hamburg.
It’s thought the former President of the USA came to the conclusion by studying Youtube videos of the rioting that accompanied the G20 summits he attended as his time leading the free world.
Except for Hangzhou, which was pretty quiet, because Chinese people mostly do as they’re told.
President Obama is said to be considering having National Geographic magazine covers mocked up with himself hugging a dolphin in front of crowds of anti-capitalist rioters. He will then send these to Donald Trump to hang in the photo gallery the sitting President is accumulating in the corridors of the White House.
An aide to President Obama gave this statement to another paper, The Rochester Herald, but we nicked the file by hiring North Korean computer hackers to get us inside their computer system,
“Barack is a little worried that Trump may say something so completely off the wall and dumb about WW2 that all of Europe will cancel their plans and go to Hamburg and riot Saturday.
Low cost air travel is apparently very accessible in Europe these days, even for anarchists and other people who think they can come up with an alternative to capitalism just by burning some police cars.”
This is a real risk.
“But as long as Trump’s handlers do not let him say anything except the words Vladimir Putin most likely wrote for him last month, then it should be okay.”
The most amusing note is how President Obama warned at his very last G20 summit as President of the USA, that if the world wasn’t careful it was at risk of a madman doing great damage.
“And now Donald Trump is the President of America. Barack is very perceptive, even for someone who doesn’t own a birth certificate.”
