Today’s COBRA meeting had to be abandoned after it was discovered that Cabinet Office Briefing Room A had already been booked by Trevor from HR.

The HR meeting could not be moved because, by the time the problem was discovered, Trevor was already halfway through his Powerpoint presentation on Investors in People.

Afterwards Trevor explained.

“Briefing Room A is always very popular. To be honest, I like to book it because it has the most reliable overhead projector and the freshest set of whiteboard pens. But I’ll admit, my wife always gets a bit, you know, frisky, whenever I say I’ve had a COBRA meeting.”

He went on to describe how he tried to offer his own office as an alternative to Theresa May and her Security Chiefs.

“I said they were welcome to use my office, but she said that a security meeting in the Cabinet Office Human Resources Management Annexe would sound like they had just been out for a curry.

The head of MI5 pointed out that at least if they did go out for a curry they could all have a pint of Cobra, and everyone laughed, except Theresa. I don’t think she got it.”

In the end the meeting was cancelled due to a lack of a meeting room with a sufficiently tough and sexy acronym to hang off it.

“I wouldn’t mind, but there’s always some space for overflow meetings,” said Trevor.

“We have a brand new management engagement space, with exciting new encounter and discussion modules. The Cabinet Office Reserve Briefing and Interview Node is always free.”

“No-one ever seems to want to use the CORBIN.”