Unusual moment of unity sweeps province.
“Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the mainland, yous have no idea. Only when one lot sends some MPs, or the other lot phones you to say they’ve left a package full of opinions for you, do you pay attention.”
“For years, the only English who had a clue what was going on here were actors. And that’s only because the two main routes in to TV were “Gerry’s voice,” and The Bill. You had DI Burnside and we had David Burnside, and we were all clear on who had what and we left it at that.”
“And now yous is all experts. Half of yous saying only green terror is proper terror because, again, making yourselves the absolute centre of attention like typical English wankers, it’s only terror if it’s on the mainland. The rest of yous all sucking diesel because you think you can get in still. Do you realise how much you annoy us?”
The brief moment of unity then broke down after someone was triggered by it being called unity, and the populace dispersed to paint some roundabouts.
