Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been embarrassed again this week, as he miss-judged yet another high five.

Last week the allotment gardening marxist patted fellow MP Emily Thornberry’s breast in a moment of uncontrolled madness.

Jeremy later stated,

“She went down low and I’m afraid I was just too slow.”

Yesterday the Islington North MP attempted yet another risky and televised high five from his car, which fell embarrassingly short of its target.

However, the biggest humiliation of the week comes in the form of an expense claim. The Rochdale Herald recieved a photocopy of the MP’s expenses, which show a £30,000 Bill for ‘Youth Culture Tuition’.

We at the Herald looked further into this and found the centre teaches effective high five methods as well as the tuition which improves street cred, including ‘bare slang, wearing bangin’ garms and owning (opposition bench) tourists.’

Tutors at the YCT failed to give any comment on Mr Corbyn’s involvement, but did say,

“He’s pretty fly for an old, bearded white guy. He does require extra tuition in landing the famous hi5. Make sure the other person is watching. Do not strike their breast.”

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.