“Gun and knife crime are serious risks.” Ched opens the first in a serious of new public safety videos developed by “Don’t Know Thyself Productions.”

Standing in front of a bathroom mirror, towel tastefully tied at his waist, Ched stares directingly into the mirror and shaves as he guides us through this complex subject.

“I always use at least four razors while grooming. It’s important to be safety conscious at all times.”

Oops! At this point in the video Ched nicks his skin with the razor. He smiles disarmingly into the mirror.

“See what can happen boys and girls when you’re not totally safety conscious at all times?”

He applies a piece of toilet tissue and continues.

“But we’re not here today to talk male grooming, vital though that is. I mean how are you going to land that little hottie if you look like a writer?”

Ched holds his smile for a full ten seconds and then carries on.

“Now, let’s talk safety in public spaces. Are you aware of the danger you maybe in walking down the high road? Walking up that quiet street after dark? Most women are oblivious to the clear and present danger they are in.

But I’m here to help. It’s my way to giving back.”

Ched swaps the razor for a sharper one and continues shaving.

“As I said at the beginning, gun and knife crime are real risks. It’s incumbent on all to be conscious of the risks a trip to the movies or supermarket or pub might entail.”

There, the stubble looks perfect. Nicely defined. A real touch of class.

“That’s why I never go out without a bullet proof vest and a stab vest. It’s partially my fault if I get shot at the cinema. I should have been more aware of the danger I was in. Those that seek to lay all the blame on the psychopath with the machine gun have been insufficiently schooled in personal accountability.”

We follow Ched out of the bathroom and into his bedroom at this point. Where a tasteful selection of safety vests are waiting.

“Remember, if you get stabbed buying a pint of milk at the off license by a random bandit and you didn’t wear your stab vest, who is really to blame?”

Good point Ched and well made.

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