Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian’s arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter blow last night; local internet subscribers were left floundering in a state of internetless disarray this morning as leaked photos of a TOPLESS PIPPA MIDDLETON hacked from the Cloud were leaked onto the web, causing it to break YET AGAIN under the resultant unbearable pressure.

Local internet spokesperson Quentforth Prapphamblish-Smythe, OCD of Rochdale based dot com software platform tech bubble e-commerce developer business ShiteSolutions.com, was quoted in a live podcast as saying;

“I wasn’t aware that the interweb was a tangible thing what you could break. Shows what I know. Are you sure this isn’t just yet another cynical ploy to sucker masturbation enthusiasts to direct the mice on their browsers toward a specific satirical news-based website in order to artificially massage their traffic figures for advertising revenue purposes? Just listen to me. I sound like some mad conspiracy theorist”.

TOPLESS PIPPA MIDDLETON, 86, yesterday

As of this morning, topless local grandmother Ms Pippa Middleton, 86, of Falinge Estate, Rochdale, was unavailable for comment.

Get monthly highlights in your inbox

SHARE
Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.