The Breakfast Club Café offers a selection of options, including a Hard-Boiled Breakfast and a Red, White and Blue Breakfast.

We spoke to proprietors Frankie ‘Chubz’ Chubb and Deepa Phatt-Friar. “The Red, White and Blue Breakfast is a favourite,” says Deepa. “It?s simply strawberries, blueberries and yogurt. And our Hard-Boiled Breakfast gets harder every day.” It has proven very popular.”

Local moron, Gordon, comes in for a Hard-Boiled Breakfast every day. “Who cares what it tastes like?” said Gordon as he attacked his egg with a cold chisel and mallet. “At least it?s
strong and stable. Oops,” he added as a sharp tap sent the egg flying.

What about softer options? “Our sister outlet, Corbo’s Café, does those,” says Deepa. “They do a Soft-Boiled Breakfast and a Scrambled Breakfast, and the popular drinks menu has been rebranded “Corbo-Hydrates?.”

Do you exchange recipes? “Yes, we now do a Poached Breakfast,” says Chubz, “which is also proving to be a hit. Corbo’s used to do it, but it was unpalatable there.” So, what did you change” “Absolutely nothing,” says Chubz. “It’s a bit of a mystery, to be honest.”

One thing both restaurants are clear about is that Continental Breakfasts are definitely off the menu for good.

One innovation is to provide cheese with every meal, though customers are requested to prepare it themselves. “We want to make Britain grate again,” explained Chubz. “We also have a catchphrase: first rule of Breakfast Club, tell everyone about Breakfast Club.” Think that one needs a bit of work, Chubz.

All bananas served by Breakfast Club have been certified as being at least 40% bendy by the BBC (Bendy Banana Commission). The Full English Breakfast allegedly comprises luke-warm, half-baked leftovers.

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