The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey’s sacking yesterday.

The news follows the announcement that Richard Nixon is off the bottom rung of the least corrupt American Presidents leader board after Donald Trump became the second president in US history to fire the head of a special investigation into corruption tied to The White House.

“I’ve been expecting the call.” Mr Blofeld told our White House correspondent. “I may have seen this coming, I’ve certainly seen the emails.”

Mr Blofeld has expressed reservations about the role.

“This administration is pretty corrupt. Sacking the head of The FBI is pretty undemocratic. I mean it’s nice to be on the shortlist and all but I have a reputation to consider. Holding the world to ransom with a giant moon based laser is one thing, but cutting healthcare provision for unborn babies with congenital heart defects. That makes me a bit uncomfortable, I’m pretty evil but you’ve got to draw a line somewhere.”

Other names on the list include Jared Kushner, Jared Kushner and Jared Kushner.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.