A jury has ruled justifiable homicide in the case of a man who was beaten to death on a train near Rochdale after several passengers watched him drink a whole mug of tea without removing the teabag from it.

The man, a washed up physicist with poor personal hygiene, was warned by a train guard that he really ought to remove the teabag before pouring in the milk. When he ignored those warnings the British Transport Police were called and were waiting to remove him from the train at the next stop.

Dr Bone continued to drink the whole cup of tea with the teabag in the mug before passengers were unable to control themselves, dragged him from his seat and beat him to death with their luggage.

“It was completely justified. We’re not animals.” Judge Adam Rinder told The Rochdale Herald. “If they hadn’t battered him he’d have gone and done it again. It’s an assault on our very way of life! You can’t just go around drinking tea willy nilly like that. It’s an affront to civilisation.”

All fifty people who were implicated in the death of Dr Bone have been cleared all of charges.