Theresa May is to hold a referendum on abolishing the office of Prime Minister, following a meeting with Rupert Murdoch, although it is advised the two events are not connected. 

“I will be the last Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.” The Prime Minister will announced today at 11:15am. “It has long been acknowledged that the office of Prime Minister is purely a ceremonial position and wasteful of taxpayer’s money.”
As the taxpayer is to have neither money nor influence with the successful completion of Brexit and implementation of “The Great Repeal Bill”, the Prime Minister in her wisdom is to abolish her position.

“From now on our democracy will be run directly. Last year’s vote on freeing ourselves from the tyranny of the EU showed the wisdom of the people.”

It is believed the plans, which are advanced, include the proposal to have all public policy matters decided by a simple poll on the webpages of either The Sun or the The Daily Mail, after rigorous and democratic debate on the same pages.

“You will still get to vote.” The Prime Minister will reassure the United Kingdom. “It’s just thought wise that you confine yourself to voting on The X Factor or The Great British Fuck Off.”

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