The Head of the Turkish Electoral Commission has put to rest rumours of vote rigging in Sunday’s referendum to give almost unlimited powers to Recep Erdogan.

“The referendum was definitely not rigged.” Mr Recep Erdogan, the recently appointed head of the Turkish Electoral Commission, told an incarcerated reporter from The Rochdale Herald.

Mr Erdogan has promised to thoroughly investigate any accusations of electoral impropriety and will refer all evidence to the Head of the Turkish Independent Judiciary, Recep Erdogan, for a second opinion.

“It’s important that any evidence of electoral fraud is investigated thoroughly and I will be referring the matter to a cross party committee comprising of the Prime Minister, Recep Erdogan, the Head of State, Recep Erdogan, The Head of the Judiciary, Recep Erdogan, and the Head of the Military, Recep Erdogan.” Recep Erdogan continued.

“This matter will be thoroughly investigated.”

 

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.