A child in Norden has been reduced to a blubbering wreck after watching the animated classic Watership Down.

What initially appeared to be a pleasant film, soon turned into an emotional assault of rabbits being gassed, shot and torn apart.

The child’s father, who will likely be facing visitation from social services teams for child abuse, stated “I know he’s only seven, but the world is a tough place and its our duty as parents to prepare them for what is to come.”

“He’ll be alright once he gets some chocolate into his system, then I’ll be putting on The Passion of Christ later to show him the real meaning of Easter.”

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.