Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a pretty crap Friday.

“I don’t know why people keep calling it Good Friday.” Jesus told The Herald during a Skype interview. “It genuinely doesn’t even make my top ten.”

Jesus was, if you believe this kind of nonsense, betrayed, kidnapped, tortured and crucified on Good Friday.

“Genuinely does that sound like a good Friday to you? If anything it should be called Bloody Awful Friday. I was feeling pretty bloody forsaken all day to be honest.”

Tesco are facing a backlash from unforgiving Christian crackpots after running an alcohol advert saying “Good Friday just got better.”

“I honestly don’t know what all the fuss is about. Anything to improve Bloody Awful Friday. After all every little helps.”

Amen to that.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.