Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean “Ginger” Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of “girl power” with his former chart topping group. “The Spice
Spicer confirmed to the Rochdale Herald weekly music supplement, The Raquetus, that former band-mate Paul “Baldy Spice” Nuttall had agreed to the reunion as his political career has nosedived following his resignation as Archbishop of Canterbury.
The reunited duo already has plans to record with Spicer confirming that studio time has been booked for work on a cover version of T-Rex’s “Life’s A Gas”.
“It’s a topical subject and frankly we can’t believe that the song has never been released as a single,” said Spicer.
However he pointed out that it was still unclear whether the three other former Spice Girls would be joining “Ginger” and “Baldy” on the recording.
Explaining that negotiations were proceeding with Christiano “Cheaty Divey Spice” Ronaldo he cautioned that fame had gone to the Real Madrid star’s head since having been immortalised in a bronze statue that looked nothing like him.
“He wants the group to be renamed “Ronaldo and the Spice Girls which, given that I’m currently splattered all over the Internet like diarrhoea in a table fan, isn’t going to happen,” snorted Spicer adding that the pair was having difficulty tracking down fourth band member Steven ” Whiny Scousey Spice” Gerrard.
“Not that we’re exactly arsed about finding him – he’ll only demand to sound like Phil Collins and start a fight when we refuse,” he said. However Spicer did confirm that fifth band member Ian “Rapey Spice” Crossland would not be invited to join the reunion following his public humiliation at the head of an English Defence League rally in Birmingham last weekend.
“There has been a lot of argument about what “girl power” really means, and frankly it doesn’t mean being publicly humiliated by a 19 year old girl smiling at you and then taking to twitter to say she’s ‘lucky to have any teeth left’,” he explained.
“That’s not so much “girl power” as “big girl’s blouse,” he said. “Or in his case, big girl’s polo shirt, with badges on,” he added.