The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible old men for money.

“Melania has definitely never had sex with any horrible old men for money.” A spokes-hack for the Daily Mail told us.

“She doesn’t even know any fat, balding, horrible old men who play golf and have a string of sexual assault allegations following them around like the tail of a comet. And if she did which she doesn’t, she definitely wouldn’t have sex with them for a share of several billions of dollars.”

Where the Daily Mail got the notion that Melania Trump, who Donald Trump met at the Kitten Club in Manhattan while she was working in New York as a model, apparently with a Visa (let’s go with that) might also have been moonlighting as high class escort nobody will ever know.

What a ridiculous notion.

 

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.