The BBC announced Saturday that it is designating Aril 1st as “Farage Day”, in honour of the enormous contribution that seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has made to taking the UK out of the European Union.
The BBC confirmed that in future years it will celebrate “Farage Day” with a full schedule of programmes themed around Nigel Farage, his life, his career as a seven time failed candidate in UK elections, his many loves – most of them European nationals, and his hobbies including: smoking, drinking beer and telling blatant lies which he continues to repeat even after they’ve been called out.
Channel four has suggested that it too may join in the celebrations with a special edition of Countdown in which contestants are obliged to make words from the six letters that make up the name “Farage” – which, following the recent inclusion of his name in the Oxford English Dictionary , should be a cinch, even for UKIP supporters, most of whom are believed to be functionally illiterate.
News of the BBC’s decision comes shortly after the publication of research by Huff Post UK, demonstrated that senior officials from Mr Farage’s party, UKIP had appeared on almost 25% of the BBC’s flagship Question Time programmes in the past seven years, and continue to do so despite only ever having had two elected MPs, and now, following the resignation last week of Gutless Pigswill, not having any.
The announcement of “Farage Day” comes only days after the government designated March 29th as the new national holiday of “May Day”, in honour of Mother Theresa signing “Article 50-great-ways-to-use-Vaseline-to-prevent-chaffing as the country gets shafted to the bone by leaving the world’s biggest and most successful trading block.
June 23rd was already last year declared the national holiday of “UK Independence Day” during which all UK citizens are obliged to wrap themselves in the Union Flag during daylight hours and foreigners are kindly requested to keep off the streets for fear of provoking god fearing British patriots from bludgeoning them to death while singing “Rule Britannia”.
Responding to criticism that Farage had done nothing to deserve having a whole day of programming scheduled around him, a BBC spokesman pointed out that the BBC had for three years from 2004 to 2007 celebrated “John Peel Day” in honour of the late Radio 1 DJ, despite his never having been elected to parliament either.
“Lovely bloke of course, but let’s face it he only played music by freaks and weirdos, most of whom weren’t even British,” he said pointing out that Farage’s taste in music chimed far better with that of the average white, middle class, bigoted BBC listener.
“In fact what we really should do is ask Nigel in to spin a few good British discs by groups like “Cockney Rejects”, Skrewdriver, Skullhead or Anal Cunt, or some other choice easy listening,” he said.
“They certainly can’t be any worse than snowflake groups like “The Smiths” or their dreadful Mancunian singer “Mark Smith”.
“I mean, other than read the football results once, what’s he ever done? ” He asked.