Several Brexit-supporting MPs walked out of a meeting on Brexit today when a report proved to be too gloomy.

“I was expecting the report to say that everything would be wonderful and there’s absolutely no chance whatsoever of anything ever going wrong or of any negative consequences of any kind,” said one MP who wished to remain anonymous, “instead it said things about the future being unsure but we will work hard to lessen any consequences! If I was interested in reality I would never have joined the conservative party!”

The report, as yet unpublished, is thought to have been filled with negative terms such as “nobody can be sure what the future will hold,” and “the single market put us in a good negotiating position with the growing Asian market and we will now need to find a course of action to ensure we take advantage of the changes.”
Another MP, from the Labour Party, told us “I am proud to have voted for Brexit but the idea that there could be any consequence other than perfection to face is something I refuse point blank to entertain. Obviously walking out of the meeting was the sensible thing to do rather than doing something ridiculous like doing the job I was tasked with, staying and explaining why I think the report might be inaccurate. Especially as I refuse to listen to anything that doesn’t say that Brexit will usher in a new Utopia for this green and pleasant land.”
MPs are apparently confused as to why so many people don’t trust them to negotiate a good deal.