Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed, among the membership of right-wing groups.
Doctor Jean Splicer, 42, has been examining genetic samples taken from individuals in a variety of right-wing extremist groups, including UKIP, Britain First and The British National Party. “The results are conclusive…”, she said, “…evolution has stopped altogether for the majority of UKIP members. In others, and amongst all members of Britain First and the BNP, evolution has gone into reverse. These people are changing into Neanderthals.”
Evolution was first posited as a theory by Charles Darwin in 1859. It has since been widely accepted by practically all reasonable people, but ironically, not by many lunatic right-wing religious bigots. Evolution is also seen as being primarily responsible for the growth in empathy and the decrease in tribalism, racism and conflict that is seen in many liberal human beings.
Dr. Splicer has not only examined the genes of right-wing bunglecunts, but has also been measuring the distance between their knuckles and the ground. “Interestingly, BNP and BF supporters have knuckles which are significantly closer to the ground than ordinary Libtards,” the doctor remarked.
Neanderthal humans were tribal and communicated through grunting ‘half speech’, a trait now commonly seen throughout the far right, who struggle to make themselves understood. They are quick to anger, eager to get involved in violence and perceive anyone different to them as a threat.
Doctor Splicer wants to set up a reservation, possibly in the wilds of Dartmoor, where the New Neanderthals can be studied in their natural environment before they become extinct.