Theresa May’s goal as Prime Minister is to ensure that people don’t remember David Cameron’s premiership as the worst in history, it has emerged.

Speaking outside Number 10 Downing Street, press spokesman Arnold Robinson said, “Mrs May was deeply upset at the way the general public responded to Mr Cameron’s time as PM. She heard a lot of people saying he was the worst ever, and wants to assure them that they are wrong.”

On responding to the question of how Mrs May is going to achieve it, Mr Robinson explained, “She’s going to prove it mathematically. It is a well-known fact that if something can be proven mathematically, that proof will stand for all time. By nature there has to be a worst Prime Minister in British history, and to prove it’s not David Cameron, one needs a credible alternative candidate.”

Mr Robinson went on to add, “Yes, Mr Cameron took the country back to the 19th century, but Mrs May is going a few steps further, by taking us back to the 9th. Mathematically, there is no argument.”

Mathematically, it certainly makes sense. The question is, will it make sense historically in a hundred years?

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