Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that he is actually Dr Liam Fox, as had previously been thought.

Appearing live on the box, in the studio of Sky News Sunday, Dr Fox told presenter Sophie Ridge that reports that he was Liam Fox were simply malicious rumours put about by his political enemies, and the liberal-lefty fake news media.

As Fox spoke the screen behind him flashed with a giant arrow bearing the words “He’s Liam Fox, on the box”, pointing at his head.

Ridge attempted briefly to alert Fox to what was on the screen.

However she desisted when reminded through her earpiece by her producer that to point out to a conservative minister that he may be mistaken, live on a television channel owned by Rupert Murdoch, could lead to her finding herself quite soon being obliged to deny that she was still Sophie Ridge, Sky News presenter.

Instead she allowed Fox to continue.

“This hand woven Cash’s name label in my jacket was put there by, I think, the Guardian newspaper and it doesn’t include my middle names, ‘Herodotus Goebbels Nixon’, so is completely and ridiculously out of context,” he said, opening the jacket of his Saville row suit.

“In fact as you can clearly see it isn’t even actually a jacket, it’s a lawnmower, a British Qualcast lawnmower, made in China, and evidence of what a fabulous job I’m doing as President of the Board of Trade,” he said.

“Which of course I’m doing, despite not being Liam Fox, on the box, or a doctor,” he explained

Asked by Rudge whether not being Liam Fox might prove an obstacle to his taking part in the overseas trade missions that are an important part of the job of Secretary of State for International Trade, given that foreign travel requires a passport, bearing the bearers correct name, Fox sneered.

“I’m the President of the Board of Trade, and Presidents don’t need passports, do they? And if by some mischance some jobsworth functionary in Johnny foreignerland demands I produce one I’ll use Liam Fox’s and keep my fingers crossed behind my back so nerrrrr,” he explained.

“And if that doesn’t work Adam can go in my place – he does anyway. I’ll stay at home with the missus, whatever her name is,” he said referring to his close confidante, business partner, some time employee on parliamentary expenses, tenant, and all round security risk Adam Werrity.

Fox, or “Not Fox” as he now prefers to be known, or indeed not known, also denied knowing or having met with a Ms J Puddleduck, who recently contacted the Child Support Agency asking them for help tracking down the father of a clutch of red haired eggs she has been left to incubate with no financial assistance whatsoever.

“Not me pal, I’m no a fox remember,” he grinned. “It’ll be they bloody migrant geese you’ll be wanting to speak to. the sooner we get oot of the bloody European Union, kick the long necked, honking buggers oot and close the doors, the better,” he said.

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