Sheffield councillors visiting a street improvement site were utterly bamboozled when contractors lined up three spades against a wall and invited the councillors to ‘take their pick’.

Councillor Bryan Dodge, Cabinet  Member For Generating Profit For Spaniards told our South Yorkshire correspondent “It was bemusing. There were clearly no picks there for us to take. Only spades. My colleagues and I will be looking into this chronic shortage of pickaxes for Sheffield workmen.”

It was later suggested by the council’s Independent Terminology Panel (ITP) that anyone with a brain larger than a halibut could have worked out that the word ‘pick’ can also mean ‘choice’.

 Councillor Dodge replied “Although the ITP has provided their advice, we have decided that we were right all along and have therefore ordered 200,000 pick axes from the Spanish company Axey.” 

 It is understood Councillor Dodgy will shortly be retiring to Spain with his wife and sandwiches.

The halibut was unavailable for comment.

Get monthly highlights in your inbox