Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has been defeated in the Lords.
The amendment would have required another referendum on the terms of any Brexit deal. Given that Brexit is happening because of a vote “by the people”, it was imperative that “the people”, whoever the fuck they are, are never allowed to vote again.
Labour are to celebrate their latest victory in Parliament by holding a competition for a new party flag.
Jeremy Corbyn spoke excitedly about the next step in his party’s journey to somewhere earlier today;
“We want to celebrate. By supporting the government at each vital stage of Brexit it gives us a feeling of what it must be like to be in government. We are making the decisions just as much as Theresa May and her whipped boys and girls.”
Corbyn paused to let the gravity of his most recent success sink in. Then he continued,
“It’s put us in a celebratory mood. So today I announce the competition to design a new Labour Party flag!”
The competition rules appear to be very straightforward, allowing everyone to get involved.
“All you have to remember when designing the new party flag is that the only permitted colour is white. None of those fancy Farrow&Ball whites. Just good old fashioned white as white can be.”
Once the winning entry has been chosen Labour intend to give mini white flags to all its MP’s and Lords so they can wave them whenever a really big issue is at stake in parliament.
“It’s a traditional way of showing your intentions. Now let’s hear it everyone, one, two and three…”
Wave the white flag! Wave it the Labour way!
“We may have to work on the catchphrase.” Corbyn admitted. “Perhaps something easier like, what’s the point of me again?”
Seriously? No. He means it. You need to answer.