The fascinating story behind Piers Morgan’s earth-moving TV interview with seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to become a major motion picture sources, entitled “The Vaginas Dialogue”, Morgan has confirmed.
Hollywood production company Alter Ego Films is reported to have paid a four figures sum for the rights to film the story of how Morgan phoned up his long time friend Farage and asked him to be on his TV show, “Piers Morgan’s Life Stories”, what he presents on ITV on Friday nights.
“It was a tough one to arrange,” says Morgan. “Nigel is a difficult man to get hold of but luckily I had his number on my mobile on speed dial so was able to speak to him a matter of moments after I first had the idea,” he added.
Even then though major obstacles had to be overcomes such as how to get Farage into the TV studio without his being attacked and murdered by hordes of liberal leftist Muslim fundamentalist immigrant benefit scroungers who would stop at nothing to prevent his telling his story, explained Morgan.
“It was a top secret operation, absolutely nobody was to know where and when the interview would be filmed, except the Daily Mail, The Daily Express, the Daily Telegraph, all the alt right media and a careful selection of several hundred dodgy far right social media groups,” explained Morgan.
As ever though even the best laid plans can fail to run smoothly. “Imagine our shock when we discovered that ITV’s main studio wasn’t big enough to accommodate the two biggest egos in British public life,” said Morgan explaining that luckily ITV had just finished filming the studio segment of a “Monster Truck Special, with Delia Smith” and was able to employ two of the trucks to take out the back wall, affording Farage sufficient room to manoeuvre his humungous ego into place, without causing Morgan to lose the precarious balance between objective interviewing and arse licking sycophancy..
“But it was a close thing,”
As to the controversial choice of name for the planned film Morgan explained that it is a deliberate pun on “that bloody feminist nonsense”, the Vagina Monologues and refers to the highlight of the interview, where Farage discusses why as an obsessive hater of all things European, he married first an Irish woman, then a German woman and was recently reported to be shacked up in London with a French bird half his age.
“Nigel was quite candid about his plan to shag his way round the whole of the European Union before invoking article 50 and pulling out,” said Morgan, adding that even if Britain didn’t manage to pull out in time he didn’t see anything wrong with inseminating “untermensch” European women with good, whoslesome British sperm.
“As long as they bring up the little bastards over there and don’t expect us to pay any of that child support nonsense, and teach them to love the Queen, what could possible be wrong? he asked.