In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent.

“During a period of initial uncertainty, many details of the final Brexit package seemed to fall between two stools,” said a spokesperson, Anita P. Baddley.

“Policy development did get temporarily backed up. However, after the successful vote on Article 50, the log jam has been broken and things are a lot more fluid now.”

“We’ve had a lot of movement lately. Ideas are flowing, thick and fast,” she said. “There are a lot of rumours circulating and sloshing around Whitehall, but I wouldn’t characterise the situation as dire here.”

“I understand that, as journalists, you’re here to soak up the details. But look at it from the Prime Minister’s point of view,” Anita urged “If you don’t plug the leaks, you’re in trouble and, politically, you can only mop up so much.”

Responding to a question from the Rochdale Herald reporter, she said “Incompetence? Oh crap.”

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