Leaked document reveals the Government has begun a refit of four derelict seaside hotels in Kent for use as internment camps housing dissenters during Brexit negotiations.

Camps are to be codenamed “Grauniad”, “Mirror”, “Rochdale Herald” and “The Ken Clarke”. Plans for a fifth named “Corbyn” have been put on hold after the Labour Party leader demonstrated “the correct calibre of patriotic sentiment” in the recent Commons vote on giving Prime Minister Theresa May authority to trigger Article 50, or royal prerogative by default.

A further two potential sites, believed to be in Gravesend and Dymchurch, have been earmarked for redevelopment under the scheme named “The Will of the People”, should extra capacity be required.

The document also revealed the name of the head architect overseeing the scheme. Constance Speer, granddaughter one of the twentieth century’s most famous architects, has been handed the plum commission.

An unnamed government source confirmed Rupert Murdoch backed her firm, Speer & More Associates, in a private conversation with Mrs. May.

Plans to move the Lords in their entirety to a secure location on Deadman’s Island have been dismissed as only rumours. The source said getting the Article 50 Bill through the Lords was expected to be easy.

“We’ll just lock them in the other house until they get it right.”

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