Reading aloud small words from a Steve Bannon script, President Trump welcomed Prime Minister of Japan, Shinzo Abe, to the famous White House. 

After he let go of the stunned Prime Minister’s hand following a nineteen second handshake, the President had this to say.

“Japan is a great ally to the United States,” said the President. “Japan is a really, really great friend and ally,” he reiterated. “Japan is maybe our greatest ally. It’s going to be great being allies with Japan because Japan is going to be our bigliest ally.”

The President then announced that a deal had been struck with the Japanese iconic Hello Kitty brand.

“I am proud to announce that my great and very sexy daughter, Ivanka, will be launching an offshoot of the great Japanese Hello Kitty brand. It will be called Hello Pussy and will target a slightly older demographic where there is a gap in the market.”

President Trump went on to say that, “Hello Pussy’s Mission Statement is Grab ‘em while you can.”

Prime Minister Abe was asked for confirmation of this new business arrangement between the two countries, but he only shook his head.

His translator remarked that although the translator earpiece was working effectively, the Prime Minister had not understood a word the President said.

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