Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.

“It was a bit inconvenient getting a headache at the exact moment that I had to either vote with my conscience and resign my seat on the front bench or vote with Great Leader Corbyn. My head was a bit sore so I went home for a cup of tea and a paracetamol. I’m all better now though. Thanks for asking.” Dianne Abbott told The Rochdale Herald.

Questions have been asked as to whether or not Dianne Abbott, who developed the headache almost 15 minutes before MP’s were called to vote on the vote losing issue of Article 50, should resign or be fired.

“My thoughts and prayers are with Dianne. I know what’s like to have a headache.” The Tory MP Nick Boles who attended parliament for the vote hours after a course of chemotherapy for the cancerous brain tumour in his head.

“Believe me. A headache can be a bit debilitating. I was just lucky that I was able to find a wheelchair and a surgical mask in time to allow me to attend parliament for the vote. My headache was pretty bad in the morning, what with the crushing pressure of the massive tumour, and the constant vomiting, what with the chemotherapy destroying my immune system. But fortunately a healthcare professional advised me to take a paracetamol which sorted me right out.” Nick Boles MP continued.

“I’m a little surprised The Shadow Health Secretary didn’t think of that.”

Fortunately the vote wasn’t about anything important like abolishing grammar schools whilst sending her child to a £13,000 a year private school.

Dianne Abbott has gone on to vote in favour of Article 50, despite allegedly being a bit remainy.

She did tell David Davis to fuck off last night though...

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.