A new gastro pub, The Pissed Idiot, in Rochdale is under investigation by trading standards after allegedly serving food on actual plates rather than on old dustbin lids and chopping boards.

“We’ve received reports of a gastro pub putting chips onto plates rather than stacking them in miniature watering cans or recycled flower pots. That’s clearly a breach of standards, you can’t go around calling yourself ‘gastro’ if you’re just going to put food on a plate. We take these matters very seriously.” Dr Barry MacDonald-Berger told The Herald.

Reports claim that a white round plate full of food was served to one befuddled customer who was overheard complaining “What do you call this? What decade are we in here?”

Another thought to be in his teens, who had never seen a plate before, was observed picking up his meal and giving it a thorough amazed inspection.

“All the food is just mixed up together. Don’t the chips get their own hat? Why aren’t the peas in a miniature bucket. It’s just a bit odd that my fish isn’t in a slipper. How novel.”

The pub which opened last month is now considering serving its food on old toilet seats, railway sleepers second hand hats and roof tiles in attempt to avoid prosecution.

Rumours that they are serving drinks in glasses rather than old jam jars and Wellington Boots are yet to be confirmed.

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