Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette’s Syndrome.

The cause of the outbreak has been traced to footage on the news of Donald Trump in the same room as Michael Gove.

Dr Steph O’Scope told The Herald “It was very weird coming to work this morning. You could hear people shouting words like twatbasket, cockwomble and c*ntbubble in the A&E Department from half a mile away. I thought Jeremy Hunt was visiting for an awful moment.”

Dr O’Scope was unable to finish the interview with us after accidentally glimpsing a photo of a gurning Gove giving Trump a thumbs up. He left us rolling his eyes screaming;

“Twatbadger! Spunktrumpet! Cockturnips!”

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.

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