A spokesperson who claims to be from Theresa May’s office has called to defend Theresa May after this writer- allegedly- implied that she was not entirely sincere in her public drive to tackle mental health.

“Theresa is very serious about removing the stigma attached to the bonkers,” said Anne O’Neamus, “Have you seen who she’s got as foreign secretary? How much more accepting of nutjobs can she be!”

The Herald obviously was highly offended by the use of such ignorant terms for those with bonce issues.

“My using non politically correct terms for people suffering from the screaming habba dabbas is just proof of how much we need the Prime Minister’s publicity stu- I mean this latest campaign to bring about greater understanding of mental health issues,” said Anne, “If even I am calling these nutters by names that continue the stigma, then how much more evidence do you need that we require a sharing society just like what Mrs May was banging on about?”

We did suggest to miss O’Neamus that all she had shown was that Mrs May had bad judgement in choosing Foreign Secretaries or a penchant for Old English Sheepdogs that wear suits.

“What about David Davis then, eh?” she insisted, “That loon is so swivel eyed that UKIP would think twice before giving him a job sweeping up!”

This hardly seemed compelling but we took it on board.

“Well, what about Liam Fox? He’s been in politics for years and still doesn’t know the difference between the customs union and the EU! And he thinks that Australia and America will support us because we are all part of an Anglosphere- deluded pillock,” she went on; adding, “Actually that might just be being thick rather than being a few sprouts short of a chrimbo dinner, but that Jeremy Hunt thinks that water is magic and remembers everything except poo!”

Which was when we realised she might have a point.

Editor’s Note:

We do not think it is acceptable in this day and age to simply insinuate that those who one disagrees with politically are round the bend. On investigation we have discovered that Miss Anne O’Neamus is NOT a representative of Mrs May and was clearly some troll winding us up in order to make cheap jokes at the expense of the Tories.

We do not condone using hilarious names for serious mental illnesses and and sufferers thereof for comedic purpose and apologise to any humourless cretins who are offended. Not that the silly bastards would read this far anyway.

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When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.

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