It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump.

Many have regarded this as a move to demonstrate opposition towards the hate-filled, racist, misogynistic, tax avoiding, shittwittering, narcissistic oranguman.

However, a spokesperson for the firm, Justin Terlocking, was quick to point out that this was a technical problem and went on to detail the challenges they had faced. “The first problem was the design of his hands, all prototypes were unsuccessful because with hands that tiny, the figure wouldn’t be able to grab anyone by anything”

Further issues came to light during the process “That hair has had a team of experienced designers seeking counselling after many failed attempts to make it go in all the directions. We have also had many high level meetings about the colour of the figure. To get the correct shade of orange has proved difficult. We thought we had cracked it with a very sophisticated mix of chemicals that turned out to be very hazardous and could cause children’s hands to dissolve and disintegrate. We then discovered an orange berry that was only grown in a South American rainforest but we just couldn’t be arsed to get enough of them. This whole project has been demoralising to be honest.”

“The plan was to make a commemorative set for the inauguration but all we have at the minute is a stage and some white hooded figures. We had such high hopes for this project as we hoped it would secure the contract to build that wall he keeps banging on about”

 

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