It has been established by scientists at Rochdale Community University that 2016 was the result of an illegal artificial intelligence experiment.
Herr Dr Professor Doktor said, “A couple of postgraduates fed some algorithms into our super computer, Kevin, after a New Year’s Eve party just for a laugh but passed out before they could switch it off. The rest just followed.”
He continued, “I’ll leave out the techie stuff as you’re all too thick to understand it, but essentially, Kevin was asked to incorporate the usual events – an election or two, a little tension in the Middle East, a couple of world leaders becoming a bit Nazi and, of course, the occasional celeb death – but then it appears they tipped a bottle of Absolut in as well.”
Unfortunately, Kevin developed a personality of his own, best described as a hungover, 16 year old who’s just vomited in his dad’s new Lexus.
“Although we got him to stop singing ‘Daisy, Daisy’, he just carried on – Trump, Putin, Bowie, George Michael, UN resolutions, UKIP, Syria – on it went.”
Dr Doktor was asked if he had tried switching Kevin off and on again. He turned a little pale, gave a nervous laugh, shuffled his papers and ran out of the room.