It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.

“Everyone thought I knew after I commented ‘U Ok hun? Inbox me’ the other day,” said Karen, who you friended because she was in the same set for year 13 maths, “but all she actually said was not to worry, she’d sort it.”

The current speight of fishy fishing statuses started last week with the impenetrable “Trust is an interesting word. Pity some don’t kno wot it means.” This was later followed by “You think you kno sum1.”

Bethany, who works at Asda now told us, “I fink she’s hinting that someone is gossiping about her behind her back. Bit cheeky considering she gossips that much that she’s got jaw muscles like Arnie’s biceps!”

Things escalated slightly today when she started posting passive aggressive Minions memes.

“I suppose it’s all kicking off,” said her ex-best friend Tracy, “or it would be if anyone knew who the silly cow was digging at.”

The Herald tried to approach her for comment but she unfriended us after we joked about a dead celebrity that she was pretending to like.

When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.