Just before everyone’s new favourite actress Carrie Fisher died, 2016 did a couple of ‘aw, but they had a good innings’ deaths in a trend that’s continued throughout the year.
Before that, 2016 brutally murdered everyone’s new favourite singer George Michael, ‘a biggy’ by forcing him into a life of rich excess; part of a cruel plan spanning 30 years.
The nefarious 2016 said:
“You ain’t seen nuthin yet! Like your Elton do ya? Fond of your Queenie are ya? Watch this space, there’s gonna be proper fireworks on New Years Eve.”
“Keep checking your Facebook newsfeeds for ‘BREAKING:’ though, because I’ve prepared three more little, let’s say, treats, before you all lose your shit just before 2017 pays a visit and really goes to town.”