Her Majesty The Queen has returned to the Balmoral Estate to spend time with her family over the Christmas holiday and will be attending the local church Christmas Day service in time honoured fashion along with hundreds of faithful followers.

It is common knowledge that Queen Elizabeth is very much at home in Scotland with her mother, The Queen Mother, having grown up in Glamis Castle with her Uncle MacBeth. There is also the torrid affair with Gillie John Brown which gave rise to the comedy feature film “Mrs Brown’s Boys” starring Billy Connolly as the faithful Gillie, Miranda Richardson as Queenie, Lee Evans as Prince Charles, Colin Firth as Prince Andrew and Julian Clary as Prince Edward.

The local folk will turn out in their droves to welcome the Royal family and it has become a tradition for Her Majesty to address the assembled masses with a few words after the service.

I can announce that The Rochdale Herald has managed to get hold of a copy of the short speech written for HMQ by former Prime Minister David Cameron and we have pleasure in publishing it here for those who aren’t fortunate enough to be able to attend the Balmoral service themselves.

“My husband and I would like to ask what the fuck does ‘Brexit means Brexit’ mean anyway?”

Merry Christmas your Majesty.

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