The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.
The editor, Quentin D Fortesqueue said, "I was picking up some newspaper to wrap some fish when I glanced down and saw, quite by accident, a well researched quality piece of journalism about the Berlin Christmas Market attack. I assumed it was from one of the premium broadsheets, but then noticed that it was from The Daily Mirror. The room started spinning and the next thing I knew was regaining consciousness surrounded by medics in the Rochdale A&E department. Frankly, if the Mirror is going to continue in this fashion, there should be some sort of warning on the cover."
Medical staff have said that the Mr Fortesqueue came close to death. "Another few seconds of associating The Mirror with quality journalism could have tipped him over the edge", said Dr Ronald D'eath. "We managed to get his heart re-started just in time."
Mr Fortesqueue is expected to make a full recovery. The Daily Mirror has issued a fulsome apology and promised to revert to writing "the usual bollocks" in future. It has made a handsome donation to The Herald's Paul Golding sponsored jail campaign as compensation.