The BBC has announced that their annual jockfest ‘Sports Personality of the Year’ is to be renamed ‘Sportsperson of the Year’ following an investigation under the Trades Descriptions Act. 

BBC spokesman Damian D’Amienne said;

“We have been advised by the authorities that to prevent possible legal action in the event of a further win by a sportsperson utterly bereft of personality, the name change was necessary. Despite our arguments that past winners had included Bradley Wiggins, Joe Calzaghe and ‘Freddie’ Flintoff, the officials pointed out that they also included Nigel Mansell, Nick Faldo and Lewis Hamilton. And Andy Murray. Three bloody times.”

A real personality, The Flamboyant One Off Strictly told The Herald;

“Daaaaaaaahliiiiiiing…… ‘ but we couldn’t be bothered to listen to any more.

Asked for comment, Andy Murray said “I hit the ball well and it went over the net.”