An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Colle delle Oche near Turin, Italy yesterday.

Veterinarian Luciano Ponzetto, who split his time between overcharging old ladies for placebo treatments on handbag dogs and shooting lions in the face, was swept away down a 100 metre ravine whilst trying to shoot birds that were sheltering from the cold.

Locals on the scene tried frantically not to help him for over an hour before ringing the emergency services who finished their Gnocchi (you really can’t reheat that and maintain the delicate texture) and came once “Houses Under the Hammer” had finished.

Police have issued a photo fit of the suspect they wish to interview in connection with the incident. They say her name is Gaia, is 1 Billion years old and is no danger to the public as long as you don’t fuck with her, which Ponzetto clearly did.

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