Following heavy criticism for having achieved sweet Fanny Adams in the numerous months since its creation, workers at the Department for Exiting the European Union were staggered this morning when they arrived at their offices.

 “I can’t believe my eyes” said Executive Officer Ivor Noclew ” The offices were completely empty, no furniture, no computers, stripped bare. It was fine when I left last night.” 

 Pickford’s branch in Vauxhall confirmed that a Mr D Davis had rented 2 Ford Transit Luton vans yesterday evening which were due for return today. 

 Prime Minister Theresa May has called an emergency cabinet meeting and a leaked copy agenda shows item one to be ‘Dexeu’s Midnight Runner’.

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