Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the stories that are utterly false.

Whew! There’s quite a bit!

Firstly we found several reports of a suspicious immigrant, possibly paedophile , cat burglar. This obese Nordic nonce apparently travels around the nation under a variety of names leaving gifts for kids in his victims’ houses.

Santa, Saint Nick or Father Christmas, as he’s sometimes called, is also rumoured to mistreat animals, having them drag him and his huge weight around with little more than the odd carrot for sustenance.

No doubt this anti immigrant story is believed widely but we discovered, after extensive research, that the story is entirely false.

It turns out that this rumour is simply a marketing gimmick that has gotten out of hand.

“Yes, it’s not true. We recommend that you inform your family and especially the kids,” said child psychologist Dr Ed Shrinker, “We don’t want kids being unnecessarily scared. Especially at Chrimbo.”

Another story claimed that a series of hoteliers refused to take in a young immigrant couple, forcing the woman, a pregnant virgin, to give birth in a barn.

After some digging we discovered that this story has been going around for years and possibly even predates the internet.

It is tied to another fake story: that there’s a magic bloke who made the world and lives in the sky, where he works in apparently mysterious ways. Our intrepid team found several books making this claim, with silly names for the sky king such as Allah, Jehovah and Yahweh. We discovered that these tall tales were apparently written by pre-scientific tribal peoples in the Bronze Age! So hardly likely to be even remotely accurate.

“I can confirm that it’s utter bollocks,” said Professor Dick Dawkins, rumourologist, “they drew dragons on maps back then too. We don’t believe that shite!”

In fact we found so many false stories out there that we could fill the internet- if it wasn’t already full of them.

So we will leave you with one last fake story. This one is repeated so often we’re not sure how many people believe it:

This is not the best possible society, those in power aren’t there because they are the most qualified, they don’t care about representing you and are just playing along whilst maintaining the status quo for those with shitloads of dosh.

Obviously, that’s too ridiculous to be true. Why don’t you watch another episode of X Factor?