One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation.

The incident, which took place at around 8.15 this morning, is believed to be the result of escalating levels of politeness between a female commuter and several other regular bus stop attendees.

Victim Simon Henderson, 32, said the perpetrator, a woman thought to be in her fifties, had always presented as perfectly normal, with no obvious signs that she was actually an unhinged sociopath.

“It started a few months back with a brief smile of acknowledgment and the occasional comment about the weather,” said Williams, “But today she was all, ‘Are you doing anything nice this weekend?’ Boom, just like that.”

“I always assumed that somebody would step in to help in that sort of situation, but everyone just stood there staring at their phones.”

Fellow commuter Stacy Martin, 22, who boarded the wrong bus just to escape the stifling awkwardness, said, “Only last week she made a passing comment to me about it being ‘a bit chilly today’. I shudder to think what might have happened had my friend not stopped to offer me a lift.”

Other witnesses described the incident as “complete fucking anarchy”, with one adding, “It was madness. She’ll be setting fires to cars next.”

Although the woman has yet to be traced, recent reports suggest that she is currently standing in a Post Office queue telling a young man waiting to collect some foreign currency about the time she went to Greece and her husband got a gippy tummy.

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