The 80’s pop sensation 90’s cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS.

Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon Mr. Robin Hart said;

“I like George Michael, don’t get me wrong, the man’s a national treasure but it seems to me that he has no regard for his life anymore, it’s like he’s actively mocking us.”

Mr. Hart who performed a life saving heart transplant on George Micheal in 1983 continued;

“At first he was really greatful that his life had been saved but on the 10th December 1984 he gave his heart away and has continued to do so ever since. There are people out there who would really appreciate a second chance. George is on his 33rd and he’s giving hearts away like they’re Christmas cards. He’s going to have to go private this time.”

Get monthly highlights in your inbox