After a quick survey of Buckingham Palace on Thursday, 38 year old builder, Barry Burford reportedly said;

“Well, there’s the pointing, supplies, man hours, that boiler needs ripping out….”

A member of the royal househould staff, who wishes to remain anonymous, said that Mr. Burford then proceeded to remove his hard hat, before scratching  his head and finally sucking air through his teeth.

Mr. Burford then continued;

“Seeing as it’s you, I’ll do it for 370 mil your Madge. I’ll warn you now though, it may run over a bit, these things tend to, plus I’ve got a loft conversion in Kent.”

The Queen reportedly looked visibly shocked until Mr. Burford calmed her fears;

“Look at this way, I can do it cheap or do it proper. Think about it, it’s only six quid each if all your subjects chip in and I’m sure they won’t mind what with all you’ve been through with that Diana and that.”

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